MEN AND WOMEN CHATTING ONLINE – CAN I SPEAK TO A FEMALE ONLINE – IS MY TALKING WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX HALAL – SHAKING HANDS AND MORE

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Alhamdulillah,

In this day where technology is rapidly advancing, almost daily it seems like, we find ourselves in a conundrum. We are benefitting from the technology, being able to speak to anyone anywhere on the planet through the internet and our mobile phones. The social media platforms are popping up  everywhere, facebook being the one with most fitnah in it at the time I write this. Friends and foes are popping up fom nowhere it seems and everyone is in a chatty mood, wanting to catch up.

Saying all of that , we also notice that the ones who we remembered as shy before the advent of the internet and facebook are now proudly brave and willing to say thing Sunimaginable in real life, hence the tearm keyboard warriors.

This leads to a great issue, where men and women start to mingle and mix through these virtual platforms of sin. What we need to remember and know is that, we are who we truly are, when nobody is looking at us.

What we forget is that Allah is the All Seeing and All Hearing…. just because we are confined to our homes behind computer screens does not mean we are free to socialize and have relationships which outside of the internet would be considered haram.

What is even worst is that so called people of knowledge have been caught up in this tool of the shaytaan, caught chatting up women and vulnerabe sisters who are mesmerised by the scholars works.

We ask Allah for help and guidance.

The haram is clear, whether we are seen by people or not. So what is the ruling on such interactions and relationships.


Shaykh Ubayd al-Jabari – repeats his warning against communication, with mobile phones or over the internet, between men and women while claiming the justification of seeking knowledge or giving Dawa’.

In an open question and answer session taking place every Sunday evening in the Paltalk room ‘Salafi Duroos’, the noble Shaykh said: ‘Communicating over the telephone is an area and way in which the heart of both the speaker and communicator will become attached to the other’s!’

Here is a transcript of what the Shaykh commented on after an answer to a similar question:

‘I would like to bring to attention a dangerous issue…. Which many of the Muslim men and women who they ascribe themselves to knowledge fall into. I have dealt with this issue before but many of the people have refused it and that they have been obstinate and rejected the advice!!

From the news that has reached me of the danger of this issue, a person finds it embarrassing to mention it…. And this is the issue, which is individuals speaking over the phone and communicating via mobile phones.

This matter has overcome many men and women with the justification of Dawa’ but this justification is not valid and it is an excuse which is corrupt. It is not hidden from every Muslim man and woman whose heart has been filled with the awe and reverential fear of Allaah, that al-Khallwaa (being alone with a member of the opposite sex with whom there is no relation) is Haraam. The meaning here is that khallwaa is being alone with strange men and women.

As for the evil effects of this, as have been relayed to me, they are more severe than al-Khallwaa (being alone with a member of the opposite sex with whom there is no relation), since al-Khallwaa in a house or in a car causes the people to look at them, as for communicating over the internet and sending and receiving messages over the phone then this is a hidden Khallwaa, which is only known to the Originator of the heavens and the earth and the noble scribes (Angels).

Indeed many women have complained that what has busied their husbands are these conversations and communication and I will mention some of their evil effects for you:

Firstly: if these communications are taking place in a chat room, for example in ‘Salafi Duroos’ so I say in the name of those supervising ‘Salafi Duroos’ ‘this type of chatting is a sin upon you… this type of chatting is a sin upon you … I do not hold it to be permissible’ I say this because I supervise ‘Salafi Duroos’ so I speak with the ruling of a representative.

Secondly: Chatting like this busies one from learning knowledge, since those who isolate themselves by conversing with whatever they want from conversation, then they busy themselves away from what is transmitted by ‘Salafi Duroos’ and from other knowledge-based lessons and this is obstruction in the path of Allaah.

Thirdly: Communicating over the telephone is an area and way in which the heart of both the speaker and communicator will become attached to the other’s! And this is – I swear by Allaah – the path of Fitnah and an entrance for Shaytaan. It is not permissible for you, O dear Muslim sister, that you spend your time conversing with strangers with the justification of Dawa’. If you have the pressing need to ask a question then ask the people of knowledge to the extent of your need and then turn away.

Further, this communication has in it greetings and gentle speech which is a type of submissive speech which has been prohibited, O Muslim sister. As a result, perhaps you might be a cause of what creeps in between married couples of unrest, quarrels and bad relations between them, the result of which could perhaps be divorce.

I have come to know that in the West and perhaps also in the East, that which is hated has occurred due to this communication and conversing.

This is why I call every Salafi man and woman to leave this terrible action which Shaytaan has opened up to them and beautified in their hearts, using the justification of knowledge and spreading of knowledge and Dawa’. It was not from the practice of the Salaf that men and women would meet up to study together, but rather a woman would ask a scholar about what a woman needs in her Deen. Also, if a female scholar was found then she would sit and listen to the men and women who came to her and would speak to the men in the presence of her guardian from behind a screen.

This is what I wanted to bring to (your) attention and Allaah knows I did not intend anything but advice and I hold that this advice to you is an obligation upon us, O dear Muslims. Allaah is The One Who guides to the correct way.’

We say JazakAllaahu Khairan O our Shaykh for this fine advice and we ask Allaah -Subhana wa Ta’ala- that He grants us and all our brothers and sisters the ability to follow the advice of the Shaykh, which he always repeats in his gatherings.

We also advise the brothers and sisters that when the lessons begin, whether they are live or recorded, that they should not busy themselves with talking on the side. We – and all praise belongs to Allaah – sacrifice time, effort and wealth for these lessons, to transmit them to you while you are in your homes or offices, so then it saddens us to know that some people attend with their nicknames only, while they are busy chatting on the side – which has no benefit – and Allaah’s aid is sought.

We ask Allaah -Subhana wa Ta’ala – that He grants us awe and reverential fear of Him in secret and in open and that He grants us sincerity in all our actions, Allaah is The Guide to the correct way.

والله تعالى أعلم

وصلى اللهم وسلم وبارك على نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه والتابعين

أخوك أبو ناصر


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